Title:	life since tuesday
Date:	2007-05-26 @ 21:53
Security:	public
Mood:	okay

the beginning of my week couldn't have been any worse. on tuesday my boyfriend showed up to school unexpectedly(b/c he had gotten into the accident and he told me on the fone that he wasn't going back to school)so suprise! i was so happy to see him, but i felt like shit b/c i wasn't wearing makeup and my clothes were too big on me. so before 3rd my friend wemo told me sumthing about santos. she said he was cheating on me w/ a girl from s.a. so i was like"wtf" and i asked how she knew. someone told her but she wouldnt tell me who, i asked if that person was related to him and she said yes..so i figured out who it was. his own cousin knew and told wemo. so i was pretty pissed and went into the bathroom, i wanted to cry but i didnt. when i was going back to class he was in the hallway(bad timing) and he saw that i was upset so he asked wats wrong. i told him i heard sumthing bad and he wanted to know but i said i didnt wanna talk about it b/c i dont believe it, so i gave him a hug and went to class. well after class we met up and we went into the gym to talk about what i heard. so i told him and he said it wasnt true and hes tired of everyone talking shit and that he wants to leave skool. so i told him dont worry about it b/c i dont believe it,then i gave him a kiss(my last)and went to class. at lunch i found out the truth from my friend t. the rumor was true. i asked how long did he know and he had knew since the last week..then i asked why didnt he tell me and he said b/c he didnt wanna get into my business. so i didnt see santos during lunch..he wasnt around like he usually was eating with me. i was really depressed and i started crying a little. not at the fact that he cheated,mostly b/c i trusted him and he lied to me in my face..now i cant seem to trust anybody. i had a hard time trying to trust him as it was. i ended up skipping 5th crying the whole time,i didnt wanna be near anyone.the counselor found me and took me into her office to talk about wat happened. shes not much help. i went to 6th and i saw santos in the hallway,but i walked rite past him and ignored him. i went home and later that day i got a fone call,it was santos. he said,"your not gunna talk to me?" and i said "im just really pissed off" and he asked why and i said"i guess its just not gunna work out" and he said ok. i told him i would bring his stuff back the next day and that i would talk to him later,he just said ok and hung up on me. well in the morning he had one of his friends come pick up his stuff from me. and since then we haven't talked. i miss having him around, and i wish we were still going out. infact, i still like him alot. i know this is stupid, but if he asked me out again,i'd say yes in a heartbeat. besides the lying and the cheating..he was good to me. theres one more week of skool left and i dont wanna end it w/o talking to him. so i think on monday im gunna call his house and see if he'll talk to me. i just wanna be his friend and i dont want to him hate me. i should be the one thats mad,not him.

Title:	is he stalking me
Date:	2007-05-20 @ 22:21
Security:	public
Music:	material girl:madonna
Mood:	thankful

ok so on saturday i went to s.a wit my dad but it was pretty boring,we didnt do nething fun. me and my bro came bak home and i was x-tremely bored. i called my frend daniel(lives on next street over)to see wat he was doing. so we both had nothing to do so he asked if i wanted to cum over and watch a movie wit him. he picked me up,we watched a movie,and he dropped me off. but i asked if he wanted to stay fo a little while. so he was here till like 11:30 and we talked a long time outside..about everything. he told me he liked me(knowing that i have a boyfriend) but i didnt care. it was cool, i didnt act all weird. well later he called and i answered and i said"you cant get enuff of me?". but i hung up cuz i told him i was busy. he called today but i didnt wanna answer b/c hes boring on the fone..30 min later my cuzin tells me sum1 is here. guess who dropped by?daniel. so i ran to my room and told mu cuzin not to answer the door. i dont kno why..but i was a little freaked out. omg guess wat? my boyfriend got in a wreck on saturday. im just glad he's ok...thank god he wore his seatbelt. he went to this chix party and one of her friends was trying to talk to him..wat a whore,that ugly hoe knows we are going out. but she was getting on his nerves b/c she was all over his nutz...lol...

Title:	stefan's birthday
Date:	2007-05-07 @ 20:46
Security:	public
Mood:	sad

today is my baby brother's 5th birthday, and i cant even be with him to celebrate. this is the second year in a row that i missed it. last year i was in germany, this year...well idk..i tried calling today to say happy birthday, but i cant get ahold of his dad. i guess his cell phone isnt working. im just really bummed out..it seems as if this family is growing apart. ever since my mom died, i feel so alone. me and my two brothers are separated. my oldest bro lives with our dad..he just barely got out of prison last year(from 13 years)and i couldnt stand living with him. i should stop talking about this..im getting all teary. other than that, my day was good. i got my mack on..but i feel really fat rite now,how do you suppose i should lose weight? i cant starve myself b/c it never worx..my fatass needs to eat. and i've tried purging after meals..but thats no use...it takes forever. i guess i could try to portion my meals(like cut my usual serving in half) and excercise like theres no tomorrow. this summer im gunna work out alot b/c i wanna lose alot of weight.but most importantly, i wanna be ready for when volleyball season comes around. i cant wait,im stoked!

Title:	just got home
Date:	2007-05-07 @ 00:53
Security:	public
Mood:	tired

ok i just got home about 30 minutes ago..all the way from houston. my weekend was really boring, all i did was watch skanky cheeleaders and sell my nuts..lol, that sounds dirty! so i have nothing good to talk about.